Trivializing with Humor Feedback
When I use trivializing with humor, I use humor and jokes to make light of difficult situations, to reduce conflict, and to keep things comfortable.
Why do I do this?
By using humor, I avoid difficult feelings and get people to like me.
What can I do?
To reduce my defensiveness, I must become aware of the behaviors that I use when I am defensive enough for me to stop doing them. I can pay attention to my body. When my heart starts pounding, or my skin gets sweaty, or I notice tightness or a knot in my chest, stomach, shoulders or anywhere else, I ask myself if I am feeling threatened and getting defensive. My body tells me the truth, even when my mind does not. I can also get help from others.
I can ask people to tell me if they see me using these behavior patterns, especially people I know well or have worked with for a period of time.
We can even have an agreement that we tell each other.
When I am aware of my behavior, it is helpful for me to have some strategies to use to return to a non-defensive state.
I can slow down and focus on my breathing. I can also take a break from the situation and take time to think about what happened and what I would like to do differently.
By becoming more aware of what I do when I become defensive and what triggers my reactions, I can become more effective.
Through the experience of The Human Element, I can understand my own behavior, motivations, and defensiveness and learn about how other people operate as well.
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